Yesterday I get a call from my family doctor and the nice
nurse says I should come in for a followup appointment.
'Followup on what?' I ask.
'Could ya come in tomorrow at 12:30?' She asks.
'Sure,' I say. 'I'm easy.'
So I'm sitting in the examination room, and the doctor walks
in and starts in on me.
'Sue,' He says. 'I've been reading your blog.'
'Great, Doc.' I say. 'Howdja like it? Didja read the way I
covered Bill Maher's interview with the Israeli Ambassador to the U.S.-
on his show Real Time With Bill Maher? Pretty good, huh?'
He looks at me real serious and says, 'Sue, I've been reading what
you wrote about Bill Maher.'
'Oh, that.' I say, a little bit disappointed that he hadn't read my
piece on the interview. 'Doc, everybody knows I'm in love with
Bill Maher. But nobody takes that seriously.'
He looks me right in the eyes and says, 'Sue, do you know Bill Maher?'
'I sure do, Doc.' I answer cheerfully.
'Have ya ever met Bill Maher?' He counters.
'No.' I say.
'Have ya ever talked to Bill Maher?' He also asks.
'No.' I say again, thinkin' he may have me now.
'Well, Sue, then ya really don't KNOW Bill Maher, do ya?'
'Well, no.' I concede.
'Sue, for all ya know Bill Maher may be a jerk - or worse -
Now I know he's trying to make a joke - cause he's Conservative
himself. He wants to get on my good side - cause he knows
I'm a little upset with him.
But I don't laugh - cause no one talks mean about Bill Maher to me.
The doc sees he's getting nowhere with me, so he says, 'This
appointment is what I like to call - over.'
Now this is where I decide to make my move - cause I'm mad at him
for calling Bill a jerk.
But first I have to give ya a little background on the doc. Ya see -
his wife and two kids are in Colorado - and have been since last fall.
Tomorrow - he's driving out there to pick them up - so they can all
move into their new house here.
Then I let him have it with both barrels.
'Doc,' I say. 'If Bill Maher were here he would tell ya that what's
wrong with you is that ya need to get laid.'
Well - folks - the doc shoots me a dirty look - as we start to walk
out of the office. But I'm on a roll now - so I say, 'And that's not
all, Doc, Bill Maher says that those mean religious people - like in
9/11 - well they might not be doing all that mean stuff - if they
could have just gotten laid.'
That did it. The doc turns to me and says, 'Sue, that's awful. That
is really disgusting.'
I say, 'Doc, I didn't say that - Bill Maher did.'
Then I say, 'Hey Doc, when do ya want to see me next?'
'Come back in a month, Sue.'
'Ok, Doc. And have a nice trip.'